Well, my boss (Stoner) pulled this one out today.
It might have added to his "sickness" that our area woke up to a few inches of snow this morning. Also, his decision was probably encouraged by the fact that Carl and Connie are still out of the office bumping the ugliest of uglies under a palm tree somewhere. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for an unplanned day off from work (especially from this crooked cellblock of cretins). I just find it amusing that Stoner, my boss, calls me and gives his best Anne Ramsey impersonation (see Goonies or Throw Mama From the Train).
"Yo man, I feel like shit. I woke up this morning and my bed was soaked. I just sweated so much. Through my clothes and sheets and everything."
"Oh, that sucks."
"Yeah, man I can't even get my head off the pillow. I'm not gonna make it in today. You in the office yet?"
"No, almost there though. About 5 minutes away."
"Cool, clock me in when you get there?"
"No problem. See you tomorrow."
Funny huh? Like I'm the dad here...or just the sucker.
I too would like to take a day off. Mostly so that I wouldn't have to deal with the snow laden commute. You know, where jackasses with SUVs fly through lanes like their tires are filled with awesome the-slippery-laws-of-ice-don't-apply-to-me juice AND I have to avoid the petrified jerks that are afraid that if their speedometer cracks 10 the snow will crush their bird-like frames.
But alas, I cannot do so unless I want to forego a day's pay.
Some days it's almost worth it.
I'm loving this blog, X. Though I feel really bad for you (whoever you are).
ReplyDeleteA friend of mine calls the whole setting-up-being-sick technique "laying the groundwork", which I think sums it up well.
Stoner has some issues - well, everyone you work with has some large issues. But why would he feel he had to make an excuse to you, when you report to him? Especially one so transparent. Maybe it's a good thing, and he feels inferior to you. Who knows? Maybe someday you'll replace him.
Thank you Steve (whoever you are)!
ReplyDeleteI feel like I could easily replace Stoner, but the more important question is "would I want to?". I think this would only open up a new level of screwing by Carl and Connie. One in which I'm not sure the reward would outweigh the risk.
Sorry about the double-post - feel free to delete one. The authorization thing threw me off.
ReplyDeleteYou're probably right - better to stay where you are rather than risk becoming "one of them". Then you might risk someone writing a blog about you, someday.
"Bumping the ugliest of uglies..." could potentially be the funniest thing I've ever seen in print. This blog is B-E-A-UTIFUL!
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